Can't Say I Love You
by Lady-Rinoa14
Summary: AU 1 x R one-shot. All it took was a rainy day and an act of courage to bring down the walls of unrequited love.


**A/N: **Here's a Valentine tribute to all! Especially to those who are afraid to confess to the one they love. :)

* * *

~o~

**Can't Say I Love You**

"_We walked back home and within the silence there was no one__  
__This beating heart feels like it will burst open__  
__I wonder if you can hear it?__Is there a deep love for these closed lips of mine?  
I cannot say anything in front of him~"_

_~Sunao ni Narenakute by Sayuri Sugawara~_

~o~

* * *

How could he have not known that it would rain on this day? That if he had any idea, that if he had just paid attention to the weather forecast the day before then he would not have brought his DSLR camera today. With an extra bag to bring for the said device along with its accessories, he was sure that he would not fit in his tiny umbrella without getting, either his backpack, his camera bag, or himself, drenched.

Standing from the entrance of the school, Heero Yuy observed the dark clouds overhead and how the wind blew with such intensity that he had eventually considered staying for a few more minutes just to let the rainfall weaken even for just a bit. Raking a hand on his brown, unruly hair, he surveyed the surroundings and sighed in relief when he saw a few other students complaining about the rain. At least he's not the only one who had been negatively affected with this sudden change of weather.

His musing was then interrupted when he heard footsteps at the other side of the hallway. As if someone was running. True enough; the footsteps became louder as Heero could make out the figure of a student, a girl, who was carrying a couple of books in her hand.

When the girl had reached the school entrance, she halted and a groan escaped her lips at the sight of the heavy rainfall. Clutching the books tighter against her chest, she eyed the dark sky before taking a deep breath and setting foot on the unsheltered ground.

"Hey, miss. You want might want to wait until the rain…" Heero began to say, stopping the girl from walking any further, compelling her to turn to him.

And then he found himself staring. Golden hair with braids, on either side of her heart-shaped face, that were joined at the back of her head, light-blue eyes that were the color of the sky in summer, and lips so full and pink, he couldn't take his eyes away. From the looks of it all, they, too would have been the same age.

She was staring back, as well. Her eyes widened for a fraction of a second that he couldn't help but notice. It didn't take long after that when her pale cheeks had tints of a light pink blush. A thunder then roared outside, and as if a spell had been broken, the girl shook her head then turned away and started to make a run out of the building.

But it was as if his body was on autopilot, Heero's hand shot out automatically, grabbing the girl's arm. When she spun around in surprise, Heero loosened his hold and opened his umbrella to shelter them both. "Where are you headed?"

The girl smiled briefly. Nervously. "At the waiting shed. I might miss the next bus."

Why was she trembling? From the cold?

Heero nodded in understanding. "I'll walk you to the shed."

"Thank you, but you don't have to."

Heero stared for a while and looked at the sky before turning to the girl and said, "You know? I actually have to. Come." Ignoring her last minute refusal, Heero wrapped an arm around her to completely pull her against his body just so they could fit in the umbrella. He heard her sharp intake of breath when he did so, and he also realized that he had done the same when his body brushed against hers, her cucumber melon scent enveloping his senses. Was he trembling, as well?

And then they walked.

The walk to the waiting shed was only less than ten minutes, but to Heero it felt like an eternity. With the wind blowing from all directions and the rain drenching them both, he tried to pull the girl closer and allowed even more than half of his umbrella to shelter her. But despite the trouble, he didn't feel annoyed at all.

When they had finally reached the waiting shed, Heero tapped his umbrella to get rid of the dripping raindrops.

"Sorry for the trouble," said the girl, catching his attention. Despite his chivalric deed, he can't help but frown at her drenched form – her uniform clinging to her figure and her books' pages sticking together.

"It's okay," answered Heero, pulling out a white handkerchief from his pocket, thankful that it was spared from assault of the rain. And once again, it felt like his body was moving of its own accord as he approached the girl and lifted his hand to her face.

Starting from her forehead, down to her cheeks up to her neck, Heero let his hand glide to wipe the raindrops that smeared the girl's face. He felt her gaze on him, feeling the weight of her stare, as he settled on her neck.

"Heero," the girl said, softly.

When Heero lifted his eyes, he was surprised at the close proximity of their bodies. So close that he can feel her breath against his chest, so close that he can feel her warmth wrap around him. Even drenched in rain, she was a beautiful sight.

And like in an entranced state that he was, it had barely registered to him that she had placed her hand over his that was on her neck and held the handkerchief in hers. And then she lifted her hands, held his head with long, lean, soft fingers, before standing on tiptoe to press her lips against his.

Soft. Taste of strawberries. Those were the initial thoughts that coursed through his mind as his lips melted against hers. Before he can fully take in what was happening, the euphoric sensation dancing against his lips was already gone, and was replaced by the harsh cold blow of the wind. The girl pulled away slightly and looked at him straight in the eyes, taking him in, fully, her cerulean orbs so full of him and conveyed a depth that he had not seen in any other person before. It floored him.

But what else was there? Longing? And… was that sadness?

He was about to say something, when she beat him to it. Ever so softly, the girl said, "Thank you, Heero."

Before he knew it, the bus had already halted in front of the shed. And then she smiled – a full smile so beautiful that he forgot the atrocities of nature just beyond the shed. "I'm glad I didn't bring my umbrella," she said. And without so much as a glance back at his direction, the girl walked into the bus and sped away.

Watching as the bus seemed to look smaller as it drove farther away, it was only then when Heero realized that he had not asked for her name, when in fact she apparently knew his. And that was when he felt it, too: that hollow loss.

~o~

* * *

"So what have you got?" asked Heero the moment his bestfriend, Duo Maxwell, sat beside him in the cafeteria with a tray of food. "Did you get anything?"

Raising an eyebrow, his braided friend said, "You know how Hilde and I almost fought when she knew that I was asking around for your mystery girl? She thought I was cheating on her."

"Hn," answered Heero, imploring his friend to continue, leaving his food untouched.

"Yeah, and well. Thankfully, Hilde understood when I told her everything you told me that happened last week. Even took pity on you when I got to the part where you tried to look for her everywhere in the school every single day without finding a trace of her," said Duo as he took a sip of his Coke. Seeing the glaring look of his friend, he was quick to add, "Don't worry! I didn't get to the mushy part. And apparently, Hilde knew her. Your mystery girl."

"She did?" Heero's irritation was replaced by a mix of relief and surprise.

"Yeah. Blonde with braids, blue eyes, library girl and all. I think Hilde meant the same person. They were in the archery club together."

"And?"

"Her name's Relena. Relena Darlian."

"Relena," repeated Heero, trying hard to fight the image of the girl whom he had just shared a brief kiss the week before.

"Yeah, Relena Darlian. She's an exchange student from Sanc. Earth. Because of her father's work, he got assigned here in the L1 Colony and took his family with him."

But before Heero could speak, Duo added, "But sad to say, pal, I think you should stop looking for her now."

"Because?"

"She's no longer here. Her father's work here is done and they have all gone back to Earth. Her last day in the Colony was on that rainy day last week."

~o~

* * *

She was gone.

Heero couldn't control the plethora of feelings that consumed him the instant he knew about the woman who had been driving him crazy. Everywhere he turned he was consumed by the memory of her scent, her smile, her voice, and her eyes.

As he barged into his room, he dumped his bag on his bed and fumbled through his drawer for the memory card of his camera. Firing up his laptop, he inserted the memory card into the slot, and opened its contents.

And there she was. Her smiling face, her seriously studying in the library, her standing on the waiting shed while glancing at her wristwatch, her laughing at a joke told by her friend in the cafeteria, her leaning outside the window of the library while watching the sunset, and hundreds of other photos of her. Photos that were taken years before they even met.

While going over the photos, Heero could not stop the wave of unfamiliar emotions. If he had only known. If he had only conjured the courage a long time ago. If only he had kissed her back. If he had only…

Now it was all too late.

Or was he?

~o~

* * *

When the bus stopped at the shed, Relena Darlian couldn't help but look at the shed from the bus as she let her mind drift off to the time when she was just standing in one of those in the distant L1 Colony, when she had gathered all her courage and conveyed all of the untold feelings towards the boy whom she had always loved. Never mind if he had liked it or not, never mind if he had regretted helping her out on that rainy day, but at least she had finally let it out. Though it was not a conventional way of confessing, still, at least she had no regrets left about not being able to "tell" him about her feelings.

She had always admired him from a distance. Heero Yuy. That was his name. He was popular in school, always surrounded by admiring girls, attractive, intelligent, athletic – a man of many talents. And she was just a temporary student who, despite daydreaming of being his girlfriend, knew that she could not stay in the Colony for long. And why would he dream of being hers anyway? He didn't even notice her during her stay in the school. She was just there, always admiring from a distance.

Fishing in her skirt pocket, Relena brought out a white handkerchief. Caressing the small fabric, she smiled at the memory of the day when it rained. On the day when he had finally looked at her. Held her. And… cared for her.

"Is this seat taken?" asked a stranger, tearing her from her reverie.

"No," she answered and turned away, looking out the window of the bus.

She felt the stranger sit next to her and for some weird reason; she felt that he was staring at her.

"Good to know that you're still keeping the hanky," said the stranger.

Relena immediately diverted her attention to the man sitting beside her and she felt all the blood drain from her face. There he was, as if her thoughts alone had conjured him. Heero Yuy. Sitting beside her looking all handsome and casual and… he was smiling at her.

"Why are you here?" were the only words that she was capable of saying. Too bemused to be able to comprehend the situation. Why was Heero here?

On Earth.

"Didn't you know?" said Heero, leaning closer to Relena who felt like she had stopped breathing. "Nobody just kisses me and gets away with it." His smile widened when Relena's cheeks flushed a deep red, and added, "Especially when I feel the same way."

Relena's eyes widened, locking with his Prussian blue ones, searching for validation to affirm what he had just said. How? How could that possibly happen? But the look in his eyes were brimming with sincerity and… was that love? She wanted to melt on her seat right then and there.

Heero held her hand that held his handkerchief, and he leaned even closer so that their foreheads were against each other. "We're going to continue where we left off on that shed. And this time, there'll be no running away."

Then he kissed her. Conveying all of the unsaid feelings that he had harboured for a long time, feelings that he were not able to reciprocate on _that _rainy day, as the bus continued to wind down the road up to their next destination.

~o~

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**Author's note:**

Oh, hi! Long time no post! How is everyone doing? So once again I apologize for the lack of updates in my other stories. And I feel bad, too, 'cause my annual Christmas fic didn't come into fruition last 2012. I didn't know that graduate school would be this hectic. :(

So I hope this story makes up for my lack of updates. It's the so-called love month, so yeah, here. I have this soft spot for untold feelings and that entire unrequited love thing, so I wanted to convey it through this story.

I hope you guys liked it! Oh and school term ends in April. So my next possible update would be in April. But maybe during my little bit of free time, I can come up with short one-shots such as this.

Alrighty! 'Til the next update! Take care everyone! Happy Valentine's! :)

Love lots,

Lady-Rinoa


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